Do you bother?

Nope, it isn’t rhetorical. DO YOU BOTHER? Do you bother how the Man up there feels like conducting a half-hearted band? Mr.Tan does not deserve this, the effort he puts in is unparalled, never have i seen a man ,so benevolently patient . Today marks the last practice before common test break , kudos to anyone that has been consistent. I understand that we have commitments ,in fact everyone has commitment, but don’t we already know band practice is on mon ,thurs and sats, can you not reschedule yourself to cater to all your commitments? Can you at least come for a practice a week. Of course if you know your part , i think it’s fine, not perfectly fine, but fine to have a sucky attendance , because you attend practice to get familiarised with your parts , so if you are familiar with your parts , we can close an eye. But to those that are clueless about what they are playing, please , be responsible, seek help , LEARN from your mistakes, do not pull down the person next to you,your friend, your section ,your band and Mr Tan. We cannot blame Mr. Tan for stopping every now and then , we only have ourselves to blame for playing ignorantly now and then .I’ve had it with half-hearted people, i dare say i know my parts , but i cannot tolerate people that just join in as and when they like and pull the entire band down , because 1. your tone cannot blend with the band. 2. your rhythms’ off, you disrupt the harmony, 3. you slow down the pace of the band. We ain’t got ‘forever’ to practice, reality check : CONCERT DAY – 9 Jan 2010. We’re not far from the actual day , and i do know of people who will not be able to meet the cut on the 9th of january. Please please, to those guilty of this, brace yourself up, rise to the occasion , i will stare at you like a criminal for being guilty of this. I will drill my eyes into your back if you sit infront of me and play rubbish , i mean like com’on we’ve practiced all this songs long ago .

One thing i hate is definitely using studies as an excuse not to do well in band. FUCK YOU! why would the goverment implement CO-CURRICULAR ACTIVITY, CO, (PART OF), CO-CURRICULAR, (PART OF)YOUR CURRICULUM , it isn’t even ECA , EXTRA CURRICULAR .It is part of your curriculum, for those close to me like the elites, they know i have a 3.6 for my GPA , im not boasting , i’m giving a life example to slap you , that , it is possible to juggle studies with band. It is all in your determination to want to do it or not. I believe i’m not the only one that is fed up with everything thats going on , Azri flared up today, and Thank God he did, well, we need some one to speak up.

I think it is not too late to polish all your flaws now, and one more thing please please please, sell ticket , push ticket sales like crazy , sell it under the bridge if you must, i believe this is sdar’s last stroll, or there will be no concert next year. GET YOUR MEMBERS TO COME FOR PRACTICE ,BE STRAIGHT FORWARD TO THEM IF THEY SUCK , IF THEY PLAY REALLY HORRIBLY GO LIKE THIS” ARE YOU TONE DEAF, WORK IT HONEY ,WORK THOSE LIPS” .

everyone has a part to play,

Mucho Gracias.

plea.

I’m telling you , i cannot wait for 2 months, in fact, i cannot wait any longer, take me seriously. i want my ipod back , friendship aside, behold responsibility and integrity

you’ll never find me HAHAHAHAHAH

Adios , i’m off to greener pastures!!

Dear ____

Now that I am alone, the enormity of how much I miss you, hits hard. If I had known that those happy days would end soon, I would have spent every moment that I could spare with you. But then again, maybe I should not have enjoyed too much our times together if I had known that I would only end up feeling this way.

I could tell you a thousand and one words about a thousand and one topics that we talked about over our time together,but I still could not find the courage to tell you the one thing that mattered—and still matters—most to me: I love you.

I have been trying to give some signs of how I feel, but if there are words that I can never weave neatly, those are the three words that can either bring you closer to me or push you away. It scares me too much, that even if my heart is bursting with all the emotions that I can pour into what we have or have had, the fear that you would reject me hangs around like an emotional nightmare waiting to happen. So I hope that if in case you stumble upon this page, you will understand and still consider me as a friend, and more.

people like you do not hover in my horizon because you belong to that group that I could only imagine belonging to, but never in a million years become a part of. And yet it was you who called my name from across the room the next time we met. It was you who I later caught staring, looking absorbed but not necessarily spellbound. I tried to ignore you, but you always happened to be at the right place at the right time, dispelling the doubts I had about myself and the idea that, perhaps, there was something between us that could be more than a succession of his and hellos. I had let you into my heart and nothing was the same ever since.

They say that we all happen in each other’s lives for a reason. I still do not know the reason for which God put me in your life, much less you in mine. If your being a part of me is all for nothing, how do I explain the circumstances that had brought us together, how we both enjoyed the same things, the conversations that widened our views, the mutual affection, the way you held my hand that made me feel as if the world could crumble around me and I would still be alright. That God had brought you into my life to teach me a lesson is an old story; I have already learned of love, patience, friendship and sincerity before I even had the faintest idea that there was a person whom I could spend a lifetime with and never regret a single second of it: You.

Still, something remained missing, and that would have made all the difference between us even when there was not even “us” in the first place. And it is that one thing that I can never seem to have no matter how much I want it, how hard I try to earn it and how I endeavor to deserve it.

I wish that you would give me even the least morsel of hope that things could still be better between us, and that one day may come when I will not have to ask if you are the one for me or not, because by then you already are the one. But you seem to have found the path that leads to a different direction—the path that takes you away from me and into someone else’s waiting arms. It pains me so much that in spite of my struggle to hold on to what could be, all that is left for me to do is set you free and be content with what could have been.

It was once said that love is but the discovery of ourselves in others, and the delight in the recognition. You made me rediscover myself and realize my strength. You made me understand that I had to be closer to God, even if the road in which you left me to thread on alone was paved with so much hurt. In spite of everything, thank you for the thought that even for just a fleeting moment, you had inspired me and gave me the strength to wade through busy workdays; the friend who made me feel wanted in more ways that I never knew possible. I hope that you will think of me in the same light should our paths till go on parting and tomorrow see us in other persons’ arms. But until that happens, I will hang on to my faith and pray that God and 11:11will grant my wish.

In spite of my desperation to hold on to what has been, I will be alright and will face each tomorrow as a journey towards becoming the person that you deserve and deserves you. But I hope that once in a while you will wonder if I am alright, and think fondly about me and the times that we spent together. Should I have no chance at all of knowing it, I hope that you will still keep me even in the remotest corner of your heart because, even just for a fleeting moment, you too loved me.

And so today, a thought entered my head, something which I repeated to myself over and over again for the rest of the day: I will not be the one you will settle for.

Just how Bill Pullman told Meg Ryan at the end of “Sleepless in Seattle” “I WILL NOT BE THE ONE YOU WILL SETTLE FOR.”

love,
wei xing R.C.L

YOU JERK , YOU FUCKING JERRRRRRRKKK ,YOU JUST GO CHINA LA YOU GO LA. SENSITIVE RIGHT, YOU GOOOD, I REMEMBER, NEXT TIME YOU MIA, CANNOT ASK, CANNOOOOOT! IS CANNOOOT YOU KNOW, SANTA SPANK YOUR BUTT, CANOOOT ASK 1, IF ASKED KENA LABELLED SPLIT PERSONALITY, KENA LABELLED CRAZY, YOU GOOODDD.
DONT REPLY, JUST IGNORE GOOOOOOOOOOOOD, GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD FUCKER.

 

new lifestyle video!

wow,had the sudden urge to revive my thirst for video making. I  think ima start my own lifestyle video soon. I know right, exciting much!

Was at Roxy square with Cindy and … …. i forgot who , so ya.. we had ban mian! or like how Jeanette calls it”shoelace” OH YA! JEANETTE WAS THERE! there was Cindy , Jeanette,… … .. .. … …. Michelle and … Joesurf! where was i ? Oh ya Ban mian , way cool , people in the east adds liquor into their noodles and drink a really weird drink called oolong tea. Suffered in silence, thought the alcohol in the noodle tastes horrid , didn’t finish the noodle, hunger in silence. But thank God we gossiped so much i forgot about hunger! so excited about the trombone shirt! Jeanette and i figured we would like a white T-shirt with pink fonts with our section motto : WE MEAN NO HARM! i mean like , how dominating would that be, even rondeau ticket has a giant trombone figure infront ! AHAHAHHA . Can’t wait to hit spotlight to buy pink and glittery stuff to revamp the trombone shelf!  had a 1 hour bus journey home , fell asleep on the bus and suffered from pins and needles on my entire LEG! had to limp down the double deck bus .

OH MY, I AM  HUNGRY
You know what, ima go cook an egg now, thats right, ima cook while i blog

was looking for the perfect pan , i have like  a red pan, blue over-sized pan, Tefal touch pan, many pots , 1 really big one , an asian wok  and a midget pot. What is wrong with me? my entire ensemble is falling apart , DON’T ASK, DON’T TELL , im sticking to the don’t ask don’t tell policy when it comes to this right here.

UMMM, so i figured,
First , get the canola oil
I’m pre-heating the pan now, oh by the way i chose the tefal touch pan, cause it has this red spot in the middle
that changes colour, and it makes me reallyexcited to toss an egg at it! It’s like target practice.
I actually, don’t know, how you properly make egg , am i suppose to add the oil before i pre-heat, or was i suppose to pre- heat then add the oil . whatever, i’m choosing the latter.
I’m letting my intuition take over, i’m assuming that i’m gonna let this heat up … ..
OMG! smoke’s spewing all over, the oil had better not pop at me . I’m not trying to make this complicated,
but i actually do not know the protocol to make egg .
Oh wait, i forgot to take eggs!
Wow , i found 2 cartons of eggs in my fridge , one says chew’s farm egg the other says farmfresh , something i’ve been thinking about, i don’t know whats the different between storebrand cheap eggs and um , expensive eggs , it’s like what are these eggs, welfare eggs? subsidised for the wellbeing of citizens or are certain chickens more high-class then the others , I don’t knnow

Why do i get the feeling, i overheated the pan , the egg had better not ‘explode’ the moment i toss it in the pan . Cooking is so weird, nothing really implicates that it’s time to crack the egg, it’s time to turn off the heat . NOTHING.

The oil’s making a really weird noise now, its sizzling, ,,… .i hope i don’t get any of the egg shell into the pan ! wow, the egg actually blossomed into a sunny side up, its crackling, it’s poppin’

Com’on this is sad, the egg is sticking onto the pan! and it smells so bad! trust me, burnt egg is the worse smell EVER

Oh my God, my egg looks gross, it looks like a withered daisy .

umm.. i think i’m just gonna dial macdonalds.
No, really, I’m saddddddddddddddd
And to think this thing on my frying pan is chicken .

Oh wait what’s the delivery hotline again?

Dream

Had one of the weirdest dream yesterday night, pretty gory but i wouldn’t consider it a nightmare because i wans’t panicking , i was just trembling a little ,trying to stay calm

Well, in this dream , i was a forensic student and was an understudy for a forensic pathologist .I remember him telling me
to go to a certain location , in the dream , i knew very well where that place was, but subconsiously i didn’t even know the address, it was as if i had been in this field for long and i knew by heart, where that place was, the walk only took seconds, and i was there instantly. The forensic pathologist said “  i need you to retrieve my son’s body at *Unknown location* for an autopsy.

When i was at the scence, there were conveyor belts, buggys,lifts, a rundown building with lots of refrigerators and a small airport at the back ( the only difference was it was transporting corpse instead of passengers) On conveyor belts were bodies of nude people in different severities of massacre, i remember a women ,face up , with her tongue sticking out and a deep cut ran down her thorax pass the breast to the belly button , which was busted, like how we pierce a straw through a plastic lid. I was grossed out , but still ramain poised and  maintained my level of professionalism, people were transporting corpse like pork, tossing, throwing, lungs flying, intestine dangling. Waiting patiently for the corpse i wanted. And the next thing, i was carrying this box, i peered inside the box, inside a nude body of a boy partly decomposed ,”sleeps”. I could see the pain and agony on his face, eyes decomposed, i remember vividly how skinny he was,i ran my finger across his ribcage and it produced a beautiful sound, like a glissando of the marimba, his penis  was circumcised perhaps jewish?  i thought. I walked out of the hideous place, oblivious to blood thrickling down from the box to my labcoat.

“My condolences , the body of the dismissed ” i said. The pathologist grabbed the body  placed the body on a bed and (belive it or not) breath life into the corpse.

I couldn’t remember what happened next.
Strangly,forensic pathology has always been my dream ambition .Freaky isn’t it, i need a dream interpreter, i believe there was a message behind this dream. I NEED THE KING OF DREAMS, JOSEPH, SON OF JACOB.

This is embarrassing, but i must admit I DIDN’T KNOW REBEL AND ZIRCA ARE CONNECTED!  Its like usually when i hit Zirca, i don’t even see the connector, why is it that i saw the connector yesterday , went to and fro between Zirca and Rebel but  didn’t see the connector in the past. But whatever ,was out after percussion concert with Faizal ,mimi,Hilda and my brother(EXTRA ) . Was suppose to go to double-O but i got rejected at O BAR, age limit for guys 20:( , WHATEVER DOOR BITCH, I WENT TO ZIRCA;REBEL, GO SUCK BOUNCER’S COCK! bloody bitch try to ruin my night, thank God zirca was nearby.

Zirca was great, they were playing electro while rebel was playing RnB, so it was like 1 hour in zirca ,electro, the next hour in Rebel RnB , then back to Zirca , then Rebel … … surprisingly i didn’t even feel tired considering i slept 3 hours only the night before , then went to usher percussion concert. Guess the crowd and your friends really matter. Hilda and i were like screaming and dancing in weird dance steps . Like doing taichi , shutter run, seducing the speakers, humping the pillars haha.:)

my first time clubbing with my brother,and i was so shocked he was so good,confirm go club everday in Bangkok, well funny thing was this girl tried to hit on my brother , when i saw that, i went over to my brother and grind him ,HAHA, THE GIRL WAS SO TURNED OFF, like whatever honey, no ugly malay girl is gonna seduce my brother.. .. .

THANKS FAIZAL , PAID FOR MY CAB AND ENTRANCE FEE+SUPPER.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY HILDA ABDULLAH !

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If i did something you cannot tolerate, tell me straight at my face, because i won’t know unless you tell me, and unless i know, i would not stop whatever i did that you could not tolerate. I have a very open mindset , some of the stuffs i do might seem out of this world to you, so do understand. What is the point of gossiping ! tell me in the face , or i will be oblivious.